Category Archives: the choir who can’t sing

Following my tone deaf pilot scheme, The Choir who can’t sing came into being in January 2012.

Every fortnight, first thing on a Thursday morning, I have the genuine privilege of leading Hymn Practice with the whole school (c.420 willing pupils?!) To their credit, the school as a whole is very receptive to my encouragement, at least in spirit – but in reality, it’s hard work. I am prepared to leap around and make a complete idiot of myself [much to the embarrassment of two of my sons] and I like to kid myself that the pupils enjoy this! However, there is no escaping the fact that teenagers don’t like to embarrass themselves, and on the whole, energy levels can be very low. In particular, teenage boys are inclined to ‘sing’ where they speak ie. pretty sub-sonic level on a monotone, some two octaves away from where I’m aiming at!

So one Thursday morning in late November, I issued a challenge: “I am starting a choir for boys who can’t sing. I think I can give you a gift which will go with you through the rest of your lives – if you’re interested, come and see me to arrange a 10 minute one-to-one assessment to see whether you really can sing or not.” The response was amazing; everyone was talking about it, and I was collared by some most unlikely characters who asked me whether they really thought I might be able to teach them to sing.

At our first rehearsal in January, we had some 25 boys and male staff, ready for a challenge! The first attempts to sing a few unison notes were hilarious, and it struck me how odd it must be for a bunch of lads, most of them serious sportsmen, to be standing in formation singing 5 note scales (or trying to!) I had such admiration for them at that moment, all stepping out of their comfort zones to come with me on this experiment!

Our first song: Lean on me by Bill Withers. In four 30 minute rehearsals, we had a fine performance ready to go! Transposed to suit our range, we had everything – first line humming, verse and chorus, call (soloist) and response (in three-part harmony!), a bit of clapping (on 2 and 4) to get the chorus going, and then a cheesy key-change to really turn up the heat for the final chorus! So on 10 February, just before Valentine’s Day, we performed our song to all the girls in the school! Their screaming and cheering was confirmation that they enjoyed it, and as we filed out, each throwing a red rose into the audience, the future of the Choir who can’t sing was sealed.

We meet each week now, just for 30 minutes, and our next performance will be at  the Benefactors’ Dinner (black tie event) on the eve of the opening our new music department. Repertoire: Shine by Take That, and I love it when you call by The Feeling.

The flip-side? At every spare moment of every day I have boys knocking on my door announcing that they are here for their singing lesson! [I’m not even a singing teacher!] They are hooked, and each one of them is keen to pick up a few more tips between rehearsals. This is a wonderful way of improving the whole choir, and it is working, but it is labour intensive. But it is also some of the most enjoyable time in my week! more

The initial plan was to work with one boy and one girl, and each week to video their 15 minute one-to-one lesson. We hoped then to make a documentary to play to the whole school, to demonstrate my (assumed) conclusion that anyone can be taught to sing.

For various reasons, the final element of the project was not completed. But I was able to make some very clear observations, which have since led to much more wide reaching and successful research through The Choir who can’t sing. Specifically, there appear to be three main elements which can get a complete non-singer on the road to genuine success within a matter of minutes. These are:

• more careful listening
• good breath support
• confidence and energy

Having been on British Kodaly Academy course two years ago, I am in no doubt that it is vital to develop the ‘inner hearing’ in every musician. Many people who can’t sing don’t listen very carefully to what they are doing, either because they don’t realise how important it is to listen, or because they don’t believe that they can do it and have given up before they even before they have begun. Critical listening is vital. In each instance, I have simply sung a note to the pupil, and have asked them to imagine, in their head (their inner hearing), the sound which they are about to make, before singing it. In almost every case, they have gone on to sing the note straight back to me. My response, just 30 seconds into the session: “Well, you’ve just sung that note back to me perfectly, so you’re not tone deaf.” Their response: “Really?” [Unspoken response: “You’ve got my attention now, keep going…”]

The second element is the necessity of good breathing, and the concept of supporting the breath. Without this, a singer just doesn’t have the fuel to make the voice work. I often use the analogy of a toothpaste tube; if you squeeze it in the middle the squeeze doesn’t last very long, but if you work up from the base it keeps on going. Or else I suggest that if you were under water, you wouldn’t take a breath just yet! Asking the pupil to keep the sound going for another 5/10 seconds will soon show them where the real work is going on, namely the diaphragm. [It’s more complex than this, but a quick demo gets them thinking, and even question how they’ve been breathing all these years….!]

The crucial element, however, is confidence. Most people who can’t sing have had this reinforced over an extended time period by people telling them that they can’t. And they believe it. In all likelihood, this has stopped them from even trying for years, so they have been prevented from practising the first two elements, leaving them very much behind in their vocal development. But that’s more or less all it is – lack of confidence, coupled with lack of practice.

If I have learned nothing else from this project, it’s this:

Students love to succeed. And if they can find success in every lesson, they will keep coming back for more.

‘Fixing’ non-musicians is perhaps not as difficult as it might seem, but more often than not I fear we just ignore them so that we can concentrate on those who already can. In my (recent) experience, the former can be just as fun and exciting, and arguably more life-changing. Enter The Choir who can’t sing!